So as I was in the midst of creating this website, I started to notice that I had nothing to put in my ‘The Bad’ category (bourbon is just so darn delicious). So on my last trip to Joe’s Wine and Spirits, I asked the clerk for the least good bourbon in the store. He and his buddy both agreed whole-heartedly that T.W. Samuels Kentucky Whiskey is as bad as it gets. Technically this is not actually bourbon – most likely because it was not aged long enough, or contains some (possibly toxic) additives to make it taste like bourbon.
The bottle does guarantee, however, in bold letters that Every Drop Contains Kentucky Whiskey.
Well thank Jebus for that. And here I was worried that there would be several drops in my bottle from New York City. That would really chap my hide.
Anyway, rather than taste this myself just so I can tell you it sucks, I decided to recruit some friends for a group review. I was at a birthday party recently, and between rounds of F**k the Dealer and Quelf, I held everyone captive and passed around a glass full of the ol’ Kentucky cough syrup. Everyone took a whiff, and a few brave souls took a sip. I furiously wrote down everyone’s initial reaction which appears below in place of the traditional tasting notes.
And the Jury Says…
- Burnt caramel
- Smells like bad decisions
- It burns your eyes
- A nutty aroma
- Smells like bars in East Tennessee
- Smells like my dad at Christmas
- A Nutty Irishman
- The cheap stuff that they put on Bananas Foster and then burn off
- Watered down something
- Doesn’t smell that bad
- Smells like whiskey to me
- Burns more than usual
- Better than cheap vodka
- Not horrible
- Reminds me of food poisoning from last Christmas
- Oh God, that’s terrible
- I think it’s coming out of my nose
- It’s really light
- I’ve definitely had better
Finish: Nobody bothered to pay attention, including me.
Price: $8 – $13